


Can't Barely Stand On My Feet

by quicksilverdeancas (quicksilvermalec)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: (I know I write him as such a lot, (for Dean and Cas), ...sort of, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Gabriel Lives, Alternate Universe - No Angels, Alternate Universe - No supernatural, Alternate Universes, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy Destiel, Fluffy Sabriel, Good Parent John Winchester, Good Parent Mary Winchester, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm a little in love with this, Idiots in Love, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, John is Not A Homophobic Douchebag In This Fic, M/M, Morning After, Post-Episode: s05e19 Hammer of the Gods, Sam being a Smart Boi, Supportive John and Mary, and this time it's sincere not sarcastic, but this time he genuinely just loves and supports his boys, enjoyyyyyyy, even if that means accepting that they're both in love with dudes), or at least an ambiguous one, the lowkey background Destiel is amazing, this is so hard to tag for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-14 00:44:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21006890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quicksilvermalec/pseuds/quicksilverdeancas
Summary: There's a rustle of feathers so faint he would have missed it if he hadn’t been training himself to hear it for the last few years. He whips around. A blond archangel is standing there, but the look on his face tells Sam everything he needs to know; he isn’t there to stay.orIn which Sam wants an angel, and an angel wants Sam, but everyone has issues, and Gabriel is convinced that he's not allowed to get what he wants.





	Can't Barely Stand On My Feet

**Author's Note:**

  * For [writingisntapastime](https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingisntapastime/gifts).

> I'm feeling pretty good about this. I hope you like it.
> 
> Enjoy ^-^

Sam can’t exactly help the way he feels. He’s tried – he’s tried with all he’s got – but eventually it just wasn’t worth it to keep fighting the fact that he was maybe a little bit in love with an archangel.

It still fucking sucks, though, mostly because his particular archangel is dead.

Okay, that’s a lie. Sam _greatly _doubts that Gabriel is actually dead, but that makes him even angrier, because it means that the archangel is, in fact, just avoiding him. And for some reason – Sam knows what the reason ss but he really doesn’t feel like investigating his feelings that deeply – that pisses him off.

Which ss why he’s standing outside in the middle of the night, chilled to the bone, shivering under his six layers of clothing, and screaming at the starry midnight sky.

“Come on Gabriel! I need to talk to you!” The clouds give him no answer. He huffs in exasperation and tries again. “Please, Gabriel. I know you’re alive. And Dean says we’re better off without you, but I don’t really care what he thinks. We need your help, Gabriel. _I _need you.”

There's a rustle of feathers so faint he would have missed it if he hadn’t been training himself to hear it for the last few years. He whips around. A blond archangel is standing there, but the look on his face tells Sam everything he needs to know; he isn’t there to stay.

“Why do you insist?” he demands. Sam stares at him. “Why do you refuse to leave me alone? I thought I did everything right to make you hate me! I’ve been hated before, that I can deal with, but… this is harder.”

“I missed you,” Sam says plainly. Gabriel takes a deep breath, and a golden outline of a pair of wings flashes into Sam’s view for just a moment, searing itself into his retinas. He marvels at it.

“I’m going to tell you a story, Sam…”

#~+~#

Sam smiles as he slammed the door behind him. He pulls his hood down and unzips his jacket, tossing it onto the couch. He breathes a sigh, making his way into the kitchen where the smell of bacon was wafting from. He hugs his dad, kisses his mom on the cheek, grabs a mug, fills it with coffee, and drops into the chair across from his brother.

“Dude,” he says to aforementioned brother. “Dean!” he yells when his brother doesn’t respond, snapping his fingers in his face. Dean opens his eyes.

“The fuck you want, bitch?”

“Your hair’s sticking up,” Sam tells him. Dean groans, sips his coffee, and goes back to sleep in his dining room chair.

“Morning, sweetheart,” Mary murmurs, placing a plate of bacon in front of Sam. “How was your run?”

“Cold, but good,” Sam answers as she shakes his brother awake and gestures to his food. Dean’s eyes snap open and he starts to eat ravenously. Sam laughs.

“Can’t believe you voluntarily get up an hour before everyone else to go and _exercise_,” Dean grumbles around chipmunk-cheeks full of pancake.

“You’re one to talk,” Sam shoots back, grinning. “You clock in ridiculous hours at the gym.”

“Yeah, doing weight training!” Dean protests. “Weight training is totally different from – and way better than – cardio. Cardio is where happiness goes to die.”

“Agree to disagree,” the younger Winchester mutters, and Dean just rolls his eyes.

“Boys, don’t fight,” John tells them from where he’s standing scrubbing dishes.

“We weren’t fighting,” Sam and Dean say in unison.

Just then, there’s a loud thump from the staircase, like something getting slammed against the wall. Dean’s neck turns instantly red, and Sam stares at him, slack-jawed, with little-brother mischief in his eyes. A few seconds later, an unexpected guest stumbles into the kitchen.

“Nice a ya to join us, Cas,” Dean mutters into his mug. Sam grins at his friend.

“Good morning, Castiel, person who I totally did not know had a thing for my brother.”

Cas stares at him confusedly. “But… we’ve talked about it… before…”

Sam sighs. “I’m making fun of Dean, Cas, just chill out. So Dean finally sucked it up and talked about his feelings for once in his jerk life?”

“Bite me,” Dean tells him sharply. “Bitch,” he adds around a sip of coffee, causing Sam to grin.

“He did,” Cas confirms. Then he looks into the kitchen. “Hello. You must be Sam and Dean’s mother and father. I’m Castiel, Dean’s boyfriend.” He extends a hand.

Dean chokes and splutteres, and Sam helpfully bangs him on the back with one absentminded fist.

“Hello, Castiel,” Mary says once she’s recovered from her momentary shock. “I’m Mary, Dean’s mother, and this is John, Dean’s father.”

“What about Sam?” Cas asked.

“Yeah, we’re… Sam’s parents too,” John answers, squinting confusedly at him.

“I was making a joke,” Cas informs them. “I apologize, I have ‘no social skills’, according to Dean.”

John laughs and claps him on the shoulder. “It’s alright, we’ve all been there. Have a seat, we’ll get some pancakes in ya.”

“Here, you can take mine. I’ve got a meet-up with Gabe today, and I don’t wanna be late,” Sam offered, standing. Cas smiles gratefully at him.

“Have fun on your date!” Dean calls cheerfully. Sam turns his head to stick his tongue out at him.

“It’s not a date, alright? He just-”

“Flew all the way to Kansas with you from Stanford for the entirety of winter break because the two of you are _just friends_. Right?” Dean has that look in his eye like he knows he’s right and he’s not going to back down, and Sam has never wanted to deck his brother more than he does in this very moment.

“Because he hates his family, Dean. And because, in his words, I’m ‘more fun’.”

Dean nods sagely. “Mm-hmm, and is he still calling you ‘Samshine’?”

Sam rolls his entire head in exasperation, flips his brother off, and takes the stairs three at a time. He changes his clothes – his sweat-soaked running pants are _not _going to cut it, not for what he’s doing today – brushes his teeth and hair, showers as quickly as possible, and sprints straight down the stairs and out the front door. His entire family watches him leave fondly.

“He’s got it bad for that boy, hasn’t he?” Mary asks wonderingly as the door swings shut with a loud crash. Dean nods.

“You have no idea.”

&~&~&

“I told you you could have stayed with me. My family really wouldn’t have minded.”

“It’s Christmastime, Samalicious, I’m not gonna encroach on your time with your family, ‘specially considerin’ you only get to see them Christmas break and spring break and summer break.”

“Okay, _I _don’t mind,” Sam corrects himself. “I would gladly have you there. Hell, _Dean _brought his boyfriend home for the first time literally last night! I don’t want you wasting your money on a hotel.”

Gabriel scoffs and rolls his eyes lovingly. “It’s not a waste, my beautiful Samsquatch. You don’t even have a guest bedroom.”

“Castiel slept with Dean,” Sam points out. “You could share my bed, I really don’t mind. Or if it makes you uncomfortable I can sleep on the couch.”

Gabriel ignores everything that he just heard in favor of one small detail. “Castiel… my brother, Castiel? Castiel Novak? Your Dean and my baby bro’s Dean are… _the same Dean_?”

Sam smiles at him with a warm fondness in his chest that settles just below his heart, and he sighs. He knows what that is, and it spells **D A N G E R** in big bold letters across his entire life. Not least because it means that Dean was right.

“Yes, they are. Now c’mon, focus up. Just bite the bullet and stay at my place. Please?” He gives Gabriel the ‘puppy eyes’ – declared as such by his brother, his best friend, and his brother’s boyfriend – that he knows he can’t resist. Gabriel groans loudly and throatily before he answers.

“Alright! Yes, fine, alright, I’ll do it! You fucking _asshole_!” He bends over and scoops up two big fistfuls of snow, hurling them in Sam’s face. Sam laughs in disbelief.

“You did not just do that.”

“Mmm… yes I did.”

“Oh, you’re _in for it now_!” Sam screams, picking up his best friend (yes, he can do that, thank you very much, he’s amazing) and basically throwing him into a mound of snow. Gabriel surfaces after a minute, spluttering and playfully glaring, and the fight begins.

#~+~#

“I’m going to tell you a story, Sam, about another universe, parallel to this one, where everything is almost exactly the same but also radically different. In that universe, there’s a little more happiness and a lot fewer things that go bump in the night.”

He refuses to look weak. He _cannot_, not in front of Sam, not here, not now, not _ever_. He can’t.

“In this other universe, there’s a big drafty house in Lawrence, Kansas, and a family of four who lives there. The most interesting of the bunch is the youngest boy, named Sam Winchester. He’s the pride and joy of his family. His parents love him more than anything and his big brother thinks he’s the greatest kid ever to walk the earth. (His big brother dropped out of college, which was disappointing for everyone because they all thought he’d given up on himself, but he’s ridiculously proud of his little brother for thriving in his university) He’s in pre-law at Stanford, and his best friend Gabriel is a prankster and a trickster – lowercase T – and hopelessly in love with him. His brother has an older boyfriend named Castiel who is one of Sam’s favorite people in the world.”

He feels his wings flash again, trying to reach out for Sam. It takes more energy than he wants to expend to restrain them.

“In that world, they have a chance. Maybe, just maybe, those two idiots get a happy ending. But here, and now?”

He takes a deep breath, his first sign of vulnerability since Sam called on him.

“We don’t.”

Sam reaches out one hand for him. “Please, I-”

“Sammich, don’t you know it’s already over for us?” Gabriel looks at him pleadingly, _begging _him to let go. They can’t, they just can’t, it doesn’t work. They won’t ever be able to. “We just can’t have that, alright? Leave it alone.”

Sam’s eyes are filling with tears. That’s the worst, most cruel thing the universe could throw at him. He’s not subtle when he cries, not like his brother. When his brother cries, the only thing that ever changes is the tear-streaks on his cheeks. But when Sam cries, his eyes get red and puffy, and his lower lip trembles, and he looks almost like an overgrown child. And it tears at Gabriel’s heart.

“I can’t, Sambo. It’s over.” He closes his eyes for a brief moment and then there’s a soft pressure of someone else’s lips on his.

“But maybe it doesn’t have to be.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that was some satisfactory fluff-angst. Tell me what you thought about it in the comments!
> 
> {Title from 'Somebody to Love' by Queen}
> 
> Love,  
-Fake Dean


End file.
